Rosemary's Blog

Angel Day Nineteen
July 22, 2011, 7:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Nineteen years ago tonight, Drew and Jeremiah were in Indianapolis, IN, at the concert they had been looking forward to for months. Neither of them knew they had just hours to live. They were fifteen and eighteen and invinsible. Their futures were before them. Drew was headed to Rhodes College within weeks. Jeremiah was headed back to The McCallie School for his sophomore year. Luther, Jordan and I were amazed at how they both had matured that school year while together at McCallie. We loved having them home for the summer and couldn’t wait until they returned from the concert so we could all go to Lake Cumberland. That trip never happened. The new pair of waterskis we bought for that trip still sit in our basement nineteen years later.

My spiritual journey since the morning of July 23, 1992, has shaped the person I am today. I am not the same person I was nineteen years ago tonight. I no longer fear death. I firmly believe in life after death. I believe in angels and know they surround us on a daily basis. I know I am still alive because the plan God has for me is not complete. I know we are all here in this physical form to help others.

Many of our dear friends have contacted us today with love and compassion. Drew and Jeremiah have not been forgotten. Fellow Travelers know that angel days and birthdays will always be difficult even though many years have passed.

I’m reading War and Peace and have been moved to tears by the beauty of Tolstoy’s words. “If there were no suffering, man would not know his limitations, would not know himself.” Nineteen years later, I do know myself and know my limitations. Would I have grown spiritually had this tragedy not struck our family?

From War and Peace, Tolstoy states, “Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. You get called back to life from the realm of sorrow. Life does not stand still and it is necessary to live.” I had never thought of comparing pure sorrow to pure joy until I read these words today. I was pulled back to life, reluctantly but surely. That does not mean I love Drew and Jeremiah any less. Each day brings me closer to them.

As I sit here tonight, I am transported to a concert floor in Indianapolis. Drew’s words to me early on the morning of July 23rd, “We’ve had the best night of our lives,” rings in my ears. The last night of your life should be the best. Until we meet again boys, I will miss you and live each day in your memory.